For years now my family can not understand how I can drive for hours without saying a word or turning on the radio. They will tell you it is common for me to sit in the living room without the TV, stereo or computer putting forth noise which, gives evidence that life is present. It is during these times I often am asked, "What are you thinking?" to which (honestly), I reply, "Uhhhhhh."
When I go away, twice a year, for what I call a "Study Break" it is an odd combination of rest, eye-bugging reading, prayer, recreation and SILENCE! I had to laugh the other day when I was explaining this to a couple of friends. Sharing with them the process I purposely employ to gain silence in a time of solitude (which is actually a greater discipline), I make sure there are no possible distractions. So I turn everything OFF! But what I told them is, "I set aside a morning where I sit in the middle of the living area with nothing on..." I did catch myself rather quickly to dispel whatever weirdness they were perhaps sensing at the time... "I mean, I turn off the TV, computer, cell phone!" We all chuckled. I still think they perceive me a bit strange.
When I do this it does start purposefully and with some difficulty. I set out to DO nothing. The idea is to wait... not Isaiah 40 kind of wait but Psalm 40 kind. In other words, not to be bettered but to be rescued. Far too often in our crazy lives we strive to be better but this ignores the deep, covered issues which are the causes of our weariness. No, this type of waiting requires, confession, revelation and surrender. This silence, like a jar shut tight, when opened up to the Holy Spirit will be filled.
The extreme hard action in silence is opening up that space. I love how Henri Nouwen puts it within the confines of such action as silence, solitude and prayer...
"Silence requires the discipline to recognize the urge to get up and go again as a temptation to look elsewhere for what is close at hand. It offers the freedom to stroll in your own inner yard, and to rake up the leaves there and clear the paths so you can easily find the way to your heart. Perhaps there will be much fear and uncertainty when you first come upon the "unfamiliar terrain", but slowly and surely you will discover an order and familiarity which deepens your longing to stay home....... whenever you come upon this silence, it seems as though you have received a gift, one which is "promising" in the true sense of the word. It promises new life. It is the silence of peace and prayer, because it brings you back to the One who is leading you."
It's still quiet. All I can hear are the clicking sounds of the keys beneath my fingers and the hiss and flutter of the gas fireplace. I will break this silence in a moment after clicking SAVE to begin listening to a lecture series by Timothy Keller. In some ways, I don't want to... in some ways, I do.












