DoxA

Family Time

What ever happened to good, ol' fashioned, quality, family time?

I often find myself looking back over the choices of life and play the "What if" game. Probably more than any other turn I spin to "What if I spent more time with my family." Then I reach down and pick a card off the top of the deck and it says... "Pay the bank for lost opportunities." Not fair! I think to myself. Back then I rolled the dice that said, "2 busy" or "4 what reason" or "life's 10 shun." It was all so hard back then and the toss never seemed to come up "1 on 1."

Today I watch other families struggle with the same demands of life and I say well-meaning things like, "Remember to slow down long enough to pay attention to the things that matter." Or, "You'll only get this time once. Invest wisely." And as you already guessed; the looks I get in response tell me I should just mind my own business and pick another card... "Go straight to *ail." How do I know what those looks represent?

I used to give them.

Why is it we are a people who buy so many books and watch all kinds of programs to help us be better parents yet never seem to apply the principles? My guess is we realize from the onset they're nothing but ideas. Theories that may work in someone else's world, but you don't know my kids or you need two people or a village to raise this kid. Whatever the excuse, deep down we know the best person to give us advice on being a good parent is a good parent. One who has struggled with everyday issues and challenges and has overcome the heartache and modeled the perseverance that has ushered their progeny into successful adulthood.

I have to admit though, many times I've heard Proverbs 22:6, "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it," and I've just wanted to puke! I can't tell you how many times I've talked with parents of adult children who say, "I was faithful to teach them the Bible and they're God haters. Doing all kinds of horrible things. What went wrong?" Unfortunately, I have heard all kinds of explanations from sin to insincerity. If I may, let me throw in my two cents. And for the purpose of brevity, I'll cut to the chase and reveal my true intention of this post.

I believe it's caused by "distance."

When family members go astray and wonder into the deep blue of ungodliness it's because of distance. Yungen's leave the nest and cut the cord and before they realize it; they discover all kinds of things they've never seen but perhaps heard of. They, like the prodigal, get too far away from home and begin thinking, "I can never return like this; they won't like the tattoos and long hair and besides these people here accept me now."

The same is true and even more common among the family of God. We see far too many of our brothers and sisters, in Christ, become distant and before we know it... we don't see them anymore. We have a fancy word for it in the church: "Disenfranchised." When was the last time you thought, "Boy I hope my daughter doesn't become disenfranchised?"

The Bible calls each one of us to deep connection to one another. See what Paul tells the Church in Rome... Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Romans 12:10 (NIV)

Think about this when understanding the nature of God's family. It's huge! In other words, it's bigger than the Italian family down the street and when they worship with all their heart... even louder and like a Sunday dinner; getting together is a must!

And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage and warn each other, especially now that the day of his coming back again is drawing near. Hebrews 10:25 (NLT)

We, as part of God's true family, can not afford to become distant.

Therefore...

To all of my family at Southwest, you have my promise, I'll keep in touch. Because I love you and you mean so much to me, I will not allow myself to become distant. What I have learned from you did not come from a book or any theory. I learned by crying on your shoulder, sharing in your victories and praying through our struggles. I will miss seeing you like a college student misses his family. But I know, I will always be welcomed home.

To my extended family in San Jose, we can't wait to meet you! I already have a deep love for you and can not explain how that is other than it's because the same God who lives in you, lives in me. Please know I will invest in the time God gives me and I will pay attention to the things that matter but I am going to need your help. I tend to keep rolling, "2 busy." However, I'm still shooting for "1 on 1"... It's what I call good, ol' fashioned, quality, family time.

Fuel

I need something in my tank. How about you? As I’m sitting here touching the plastic squares under my fingers I can hear my stomach growling. It’s generally an indication that I not only need to eat something it is evidence to others that I am hungry. There is a muffin to my right and a cup of coffee to my left and I am asking myself why haven’t I started eating the muffin?

Have you ever run out of gas? I used to run out of gas a lot when I was younger. Sometimes because I was “chancing it” other times because I wasn’t paying attention. It’s pretty embarrassing and you feel helpless when you do. There you are; stranded, thankful you have an Auto Club membership yet hoping nobody you know drives by.

I remember the first time I was riding my bike with a group of people. They were experienced riders of different fitness and skill levels. They wore colorful jerseys and helmets, they rode sleek and fast bikes and they had the same destination and stayed together to arrive at the same time. I remembered feeling really good when we started the two and a half hour, fifty mile ride. I too had a colorful jersey and wore a helmet, I was riding my brand new, sleek and fast bike and I knew exactly where we were going because someone told me. But there was one difference… they had done this before. Somewhere around mile forty and two hours after starting our journey, I wasn’t feeling so well. My vision began to narrow and the pedals began to turn like they were seized with tree sap.  I remembered being on the very back of nearly three dozen riders and watching them ride away at a leisurely pace while I struggled to keep up. Before I knew it, I was lying under a tree, unable to lift my head off the grass due to sheer physical fatigue. It was what I later learned, that day, what is commonly referred to as, “Bonking” a phenomenon which occurs when the body is completely depleted of blood sugar.   As I lay there, contemplating the timing of the second coming, I remembered a fellow cyclist offering me a Powerbar back at the park. “No thanks, I’m good.” Sometimes being polite isn’t very smart.

A few of years back I was talking to someone when he blurted out this response to a question I posed, “Dan, you don’t know what you don’t know.” I thought, “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard… you don’t know what you don’t know. That is so like stating the obvious (you can tell how immature I was at the time by my use of ‘like’).”

There are two things that push me to God’s Word. First, all the things that I DON’T know and second, all the things that I DO know. Like running out of gas; sometimes it’s ignorance and sometimes it’s knowing I have just twenty miles to the next gas station when the needle is on E and only making nineteen.

As I look around my office I can see nine different Bibles, there are numerous commentaries, various lexicons and dictionaries, not to mention encyclopedias, historical studies, outlines and topical works and then there are two extensive software programs which can, in an instant, recall line and verse from thousands of books at once. In other words, I have a fantastic feast within my reach. So, why am I hungry? Well, it’s not because that muffin still sits on my desk uneaten.

One of the lesser known proverbs in the Bible says…
       The laborer's appetite works for him; his hunger drives him on. Proverbs 16:26

I want to be a person who is motivated to know what I don’t know, not live by what I think I know. I want to be a person who is worried that there won’t be enough fuel in my tank to get me where I need to go. I want to be a person who never forgets what it’s like to bonk and suffer the consequences. I want to be the kind of man who when someone needs me to share… has enough to give.

I want to be a person who, even though surrounded by abundance, is listening to the growling of his heart and smart enough to reach over and take a bite.

Resvolution

It happens to most of us. The New Year begins and we’re plotting in our minds certain changes in our behavior. The thoughts start something like, “From now on I’m gonna…” “This year I will…” “I’m going to change my…” and the beat goes on. But like most New Year’s resolutions they fade like the sound of a marching band in the distance.

New Year’s resolutions are nothing more than our cry for change. 98 percent of which is personal change… Number one on most everyone’s list… “I’m gonna lose some weight!” the remaining resolutions on people’s list start with either, “I’m gonna start… or I’m gonna stop” something. As we can see change is generally the action of some desire meant for good. However, change is not easy. Losing weight takes hard work and discipline. Changing a habit or routine is equally hard and requires perseverance. This may be the reason resolutions rarely stick. I don’t know too many people (honestly, I don’t know anyone) who has started changing something due to a New Year’s resolution and continued to significant life change. I have not heard one story that claimed their life was radically different because of a decision to do something new at the beginning of January.

Resolution is descriptive of a specific time of commitment. It is the act of resolving... a “coming to terms” if you will. The problem is we can come to terms with our need for change but to actually see real change; it requires more than desire.

In our world and throughout history real change occurred when there was a revolution. It is an act of revolting a “changing terms by force.” Often in our lives we require similar action to see real, personal change: A waging war of the flesh, a battle of wills and a hostile takeover of mind over what matters… However, too many times, we as Christ followers apply the determination and experience the frustration of resolution over what Jesus wants from us… revolution.

I think this is true because most Christians think living a life committed to revolution requires painstaking work and self-sacrificing deprecation. In other words, being a revolutionary. Well, being an authentic Christ follower means to be like Jesus and yes, he was a revolutionary, no one single person in history has done more to change the way people live and act but the process doesn’t have to be hard. The revolutionary Himself said that He came to give us life and give it in all it’s fullness (Jn.10:10). But when it comes to change we often overlook that Jesus provided us His Holy Spirit to do the work. Our Lord said, when the Holy Spirit comes upon you’ll receive power (Acts 1:8)…paraphrase, “I’m giving you my Spirit and it will change you and from then on, you’re gonna change things.”

Do you feel the Spirit of God moving in you? It’s a new year. It is a time for change.

As many of you know we are leaving our wonderful church of twelve years and moving on to another ministry to meet and serve alongside other people we are yet to know and love. I am thankful this change is not a simple resolution, but for us it is a revolution: A radical, complete and new beginning. It’s exciting and daunting at the same time but I am reminded of the words of Isaiah…
"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland. Isaiah 43:18-19
As we stand on the eve of this new chapter for us I will be reminded that as one who has bowed the knee to Jesus and made him my Lord, the one I serve, the one I follow, I am called to be a part of His great revolution. One that confronts the comfortable, one that will challenge the status quo, one that will change the world!

One last thought… isn’t it interesting the definition for the word revolution is described as change but also a complete revolution means to come full circle; to finish where you begun… Think about it. One is to revolt the other is to revolve. One is to run out and never come back the other is to run around in circles.

What kind of a revolutionary are you?