DoxA

Father's De

I can see it in their eyes every year. It’s a veiled fear, a concern that perhaps they won’t accomplish the task of pleasing me, their father, on a day when the purpose is to celebrate good ol’ dad. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because they know I’m really particular or maybe it’s because I unknowingly rolled my eyes when I opened that all too familiar long and flat box revealing a wildly printed necktie in the past. What ever it may be I realize it’s not their fault they feel this way. I take responsibility. If I were honest with them I would let them know I find it difficult to receive gifts from my children. It doesn’t seem natural. It’s my job to give them gifts.

Deceased, decreased, desist, deny, delete; all a bunch of “de” words. This preposition mirrors the latin; de (pronounced day, meaning to reduce or take from). As a father I recognize the many times I have done just that, reduced or taken from my children. It’s one thing to receive but it’s another to take. Oh, don’t get me wrong I’ve never stolen candy from their Halloween stash or borrowed from their piggy banks, but I have de-prived them of certain experiences. I’ve de-manded they obey me. I’ve de-tained them from seeing certain friends. I’ve de-briefed them following a suspicious night out. I’ve de-clined various requests for petitions for useless and unnecessary items… I’ve de-bated certain choices and de-posited money without their knowledge, while de-lighting in seeing their de-velopment as they de-pend on me.

Don't be deceived, my dear brothers. Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created. James 1:16-18

For each one of us we’re told not to be de-ceived! Because every GOOD and PERFECT gift comes from our Father… The same Heavenly Father who often deprives me of certain experiences because He knows I’ll crash and burn (Jude :24). The very Heavenly Father who demands my obedience but loves me anyway when I don’t (John 14:23,24). The One who taught me bad company corrupts good morals (1 Cor. 15:33). Who, provides his Holy Spirit to convict me (John 16:8) and gives me only what I need (Matt. 6:8).   

As our Heavenly Father helps us with our “debates” by granting us wisdom and with our needs as He “deposits” blessings in our way, He “delights” in watching us “develop” as we “depend” on Him.

He does this so we can be a “kind of firstfruit of all He created...” What does that mean?

I think it means He wants us to become everything He wants us to be… but there just isn’t a good enough word to de-scribe it. He wants us to be holy as He is holy but we’ll never achieve holiness in this life because of our sin nature. I believe James just puts it generally because it’s too hard to say it specifically.

The Hawaiians have a word in “pigeon” (their slang). It is a word to use when you don’t have a word to use… that word is, “dekine.”

So, today when I get... dekine... no matter what size, shape or color, I’ll be careful not to roll my eyes or compare it to previous gifts. Because deep down inside, whatever I'm given will be a response to the love I have shown on a day when, “it’s the thought” that matters most… I’ll get what I de-serve.

Happy Father’s de!

When the World's Got You Down

Occasionally, when I get the sense life isn't going according to plan I remember an old radio bit. I honestly can't recall where it came from or who originated it but the music is very melodramatic with a whining violin and a upright player piano sound accompanying a man's narration meant for someone named, "Boopy." It goes something like this... "So, you woke up this morning and discovered your dog died in the middle of the night while he was eating your favorite pair of shoes and then you noticed that it wasn't Friday after all and you could have slept in because it's Saturday which made you realize you completely forgot about your anniversary and was the reason your wife put salt in your coffee... Is that what's getting you down, Boopy?" and on and on it would go.

I'm having one of those weeks. I think I might change my name to Boopy.

To understand that this week began in Hawaii while I was recovering from a 1/2 Ironman race (Honu Race report is on the Tri Page link below) probably doesn't sound like life was treating me too hard. Well, let's just say it began with a phone call. Unfortunately, one I kind of expected.

First, let me say; I really have a hard time saying "Goodbye" to someone I admire and have grown to love. Second, I can never seem to discover the "fairness" in departures of relationship that are imposed by the sentiments of others and who don't have the facts. And finally, an unplanned and unexpected separation hurts. Such is the case with my friend Tom Hartley, who left our staff this past weekend at the urging of the leadership here at Southwest.

An abbreviated version of the phone call went something like this... "Dan, it's Ryan. Hey Ry. Ummm, Tom announced yesterday that this was his last weekend... we're all wondering what to do. Yeah, I know. We'll talk about this on Wednesday when I get back. How's everyone doing? Shocked. What about the choir? Angry! Dan, there are some people here who are really mad at you." Well, let's just say that may have been an understatement.

I can understand emotion and disappointment. I have been disappointed, I have reacted strongly to something when I thought it was wrong. I know how much Tom is loved. None of that surprised me. What did, however, was how personal it got. So, let me say it again for the record. "I love Tom. I am genuinely going to miss Tom. He makes me laugh, he has been a loyal colleague and partner, he is wise and openly displays the fruit of the Spirit in his life and his solid contribution to the creative process here is going to be sorely missed.

Now, about my week. I am physically and emotionally spent. I haven't been able to sleep well because of some of the things I've heard said about me. Surprised from whom some of these comments are coming and disappointed because people seem to know so much about me; my motives, my methods, my intentions without ever bothering to get to know me. Assuming, drawing conclusions and brandishing defamatory labels and placing targets on my back without even asking me one question. Calling for action, polarizing opinion and choosing to leave the church without knowing, or caring to know the facts. It has been hard for me, my family and the Celebration Arts staff to watch mature people act so cruelly.

... That is what has me down.

BUT, I am confident that all of us, me included, will understand in greater detail in coming days, weeks and months; God's perfect and pleasing will. I can recall saying goodbye to others whom I've loved without understanding the "real reason" and watched our gracious God work things out for the best. It's never an easy process but I desire to have the heart of the apostle Paul who encouraged Timothy in this way, the same way I intend to think of Tom and those whom I serve at Southwest.

Night and day I constantly remember you in my prayers. I long to see you again, for I remember your tears as we parted. And I will be filled with joy when we are together again. I know that you sincerely trust the Lord, for you have the faith of your mother, Eunice, and your grandmother, Lois. This is why I remind you to fan into flames the spiritual gift God gave you when I laid my hands on you. For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. So you must never be ashamed to tell others about our Lord. And don't be ashamed of me, either, even though I'm in prison for Christ. With the strength God gives you, be ready to suffer with me for the proclamation of the Good News. 2 Timothy 1:3b-8 (NLT)

So, what about you? Has the world got you down? Life not going according to plan... having a hard time making sense of it all.

You're not alone.

I'm praying for you. No matter how often (or not) we see each other; my hope is for your encouragement. That God will reveal Himself and provide comfort and peace and to remind you someone cares.